Friday, June 11, 2010


No pretentions to a well-written post here.  Just journaling.

Watched The Blind Side with Nastya, Ilya, and Zhen.  Craig started watching with us, but once the football began he got too melancholy about not having the opportunity to coach and left.  There's adult trauma in our household, too.

Zhen watched silently and attentively from beginning to end.  Nastya and Ilya had to comment now and then.  Overall from their little interjections I got the idea that it impressed them to see another adoption story.  Even made them understand a little more fully how a mom might love someone who didn't initially seem appealing, or smart, who didn't appear to "belong". 

I never heard before about the instinct to protect, but when it was mentioned I had a hard time not gasping, and Nastya noticed tears in my eyes, because that is Ilya.  From the very beginning - those first two weeks when he and I were exploring Ivanovo and Moscow together, he was always so vigilant in watching out for me - looking for cars, carrying things, helping with money, making sure a piece of fruit I bought was not bruised.  And now, if we go shopping he is always making sure we get what he considers to be a safe spot - where I can pull forward and not have to back out.  He checks to see that I do things safely, that I lock the doors, turn the heat up or down according to his idea of prudence.  Ilya watches out for me and it is so precious. 

In the scene in the movie where they'd gotten into the accident, most of us were quite sure what was going on for a moment - it was Ilya who realized that Michael had protected his little brother from the air bag.

Then as tension began to build (really because Michael was struggling with school), Ilya sensed the tension but not the reason and said, "His mother is going to want him back."  That comment made my heart crumple up inside me. 

I just had to threaten Anastasia with having the door of her room removed.  She is slamming it, slamming it, slamming it.  All because Zhen needed to use the bathroom before she went in to take a bath, and I told her it was courteous to let him do so.  But I think really it was because of the flashback scene.  The utter stillness in our living room during that scene was palpable.  I don't think Anastasia breathed.  Those were her flashbacks too.  Probably I shouldn't have let her watch it.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out in conversation and behavior.  I hope it was more of a conversation starter and thought-provoker, and not the first rock in an avalanche.


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I haven't seen it. Probably will soon.

Tina in CT said...

I thought it was one of the best movies I've seen.

Diana said...

It was an amazing movie was it not? I did get rather emotional watching it. And what an amazing son you have! You are blessed to have each other. Does this protective nature of his extend to other family members?

With regards to Miss A, how do you distinguish between a trauma acting out, and just plain old acting out? With my children heading into puberty, I often find it hard to distinguish!

Diana said...

P.S. Is there a current photo of this wonderful young man?

luvin' life said...

I seriously LOVED that movie! I hope that it works out to be a good thing for your kids to have seen it.

Annie said...

Diana, Ilya is the one on the header who has his hand on his heart - rather looks like a TB patient....can't get the kid to pose for photos.

MyGirlElena said...

I haven't seen it yet, so this post makes little sense to me. But after reading it, I want to see the movie even more!