On Monday morning I had a few minutes before I needed to get the kids up, so I was paying bills and the renewal from AAA came up. I am not sure why I kept delaying. No family has ever gotten more good out of AAA than we have, but that's another post. Anyway, a week or so previously I realized that I'd actually let our membership lapse. Credit Union had changed everyone's numbers for security reasons, so it didn't take place automatically as usual. High time I took care of it, and since I was sitting at the computer, I figured - what the heck, I'd do it on line rather than writing the check. Good choice.
That night I had to run over to work again at 8 or so, and nearing the church, I felt something really odd, then heard something odder - and sure enough, I had a totally flat tire. A complete good-for-nothing tire. Praise God for AAA! I called, they came, I was able to go home in short order on my little doughnut tire and get a real tire replacement yesterday.
I thank God for the prompting to take care of the AAA membership that morning. I can't imagine how upsetting it would have been otherwise, to deal with it all myself and pay the considerable price to do so.
It is just this sort of thing that makes me believe that God is watching over me, caring for me, protecting me, loving me.
Yet.
Am I being a childish fool?
This weekend a man in our parish - the husband of a somewhat older friend of mine - was out fishing with his son-in-law and granddaughters, ages 2,4, and 6. As the father and grandfather attended to a tangled fish line, the youngest little girl fell overboard. She was in her life jacket, but undoubtedly was afraid and cold. Grandfather jumped in to lift her aboard. While her father was getting her back in the boat and sorted - only a few moments, one would imagine - the grandfather, my friends' husband, went under and disappeared. They only found his body yesterday.
So, where was God then - on that sunny afternoon? Why would He take care of me and my flat tire, and let a good man drown while saving a child? Why would a child have to live her life believing that because of her a good man died? Why would those little girls have to see and remember this horrific event forever? Why would my friend be without the husband she loves and relies on? Why would that man have to forever wonder if he'd done this or that, if he could have saved his wife's father? Dear Lord - why? Why? Why?
I don't understand You. Forgive me for being so childish, for expecting something from You that you aren't giving - maybe even attributing things to You that You don't do. I'd think I was being childish, making you small...into my personal protector, but we read in Scripture that You do take care of even inconsequential things! Your first miracle is the perfect example! I want to understand and have trusting faith. But I am really confused.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
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9 comments:
I ask these same types of questions. It really is hard to understand.
How very, very sad. What a horrible tragedy. I'm sorry sorry for that man and his family.
I understand your struggle. I ask these questions too. Why do I think that God cares about the mundane little things of my life, yet children starve to death every day? Who is watching out for them? I wish it all made sense.
I don't think you're alone. I constantly ask God, "Why?" I don't understand why some children suffer from terminal diseases leaving their parents heartbroken for the rest of their earthly lives. I don't understand why the child of someone who abused drugs/alcohol is the one that suffers the consequences. I don't understand many things and in my human nature, I blame or ask God, "Why?"
I just don't think we will know the answers in this side of heaven.
Praying for you and your friend's family today. HUGS!
I hear you Annie, similar thoughts go through my head all the time- how can God let cruelty happen to children yet (supposedly) help me find something I´ve lost when I pray for it...doesn´t make sense :(
Freaky how that happened as the grandfather was right next to the boat and could have held on. The girls' father was right nearby and didn't hear. I guess the grandfather must not have trashed or called out. So freaky and so, so tragic. The poor girls, their father and the widow! Yes, WHY???
What a terrible thing.
Can you be grateful for one and sad for the other? Without looking to it all as connected? Or is that how it is taught? Not too sure on the Catholic belief system but I think of what I used to tell my therapy kids who had survived so much and they would ask, "why"? I would tell them sometimes, there will never be an answer that will explain it. Not a good answer that makes sense to you and makes you say, Oh, then it was ok that my father killed my mother, or whatever gruesome horror they had been through.
Well I am probably over- reaching here but hopefully not offending. Just putting out my thought on it.
You are right. When things like this happen we cannot help but to question God's plan. To us, as mortals, it seems senseless, and we may never know the reason why. I'm just numb with shock after reading what happened to your friend in his loving effort in ensuring the safety of his granddaughter. I pray for his family and for their acceptance of his sudden calling to God.
How awful. I wish God provided us with all the answers we seek. Its times these that His silence baffles me. But He is God...and I am not. I take a lot of comfort in that. He's the one that sees the big picture...and He's the one who can provide the most comfort for this family.
We'll definitely be keeping your friend's family in prayer.
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