Monday, May 19, 2008

ADULT DECISIONS

Aidan in April
Aidan should be home in July! We are all looking forward to that, as you can imagine!

He is having quite a difficult decision to make about what he will do when he gets back. In fact, I gather that he's been agonizing about it a bit.

He has a specialty which, if he stayed in Iraq and worked for a contractor, would pay him in the three figures. It would pay for completion of college, buy a house, let Susan stay home with Calvin, etc. However, he would not be with Calvin. There was also the possibility of uprooting Susan and Calvin and moving to Virginia, to do the same sort of job. Wouldn't pay nearly as well as doing it in Iraq. And then, the third option is returning to his former job doing security and loss-prevention for the Goodwill in Pittsburgh. He actually rather enjoyed that work. That will pay not well, as one might imagine, but he will be home with Cal; Susan will have the continued support of her extended family and there is not the stress of moving. Aidan can also continue his education, in addition to working. It does mean that Susan will need to work as well, but I think that between the two of them and Susan's family, Cal will not be in daycare.

Poor Aidan. He is grown up now! It is an interesting phenomenon to see your children suddenly have "adult" decisions to make. I guess I suddenly understand that there is a dividing line between those decisions you make as a young adult that really impact no one but yourself. Maybe they are "practice" decisions really. I recall them as being rather fun - they seem "big" at the time because they will make a big difference to your immediate future, but they have a bit of thrill and excitement to them that is unsullied by the burden of caring for others. You find that when you marry and have children the decisions you make are not quite so carefree and fun anymore because they impact more people than just yourself. And these "serious" decisions are the ones you will have to make thereon out. No more throwing caution to the wind. Welcome to adulthood!

4 comments:

Christine said...

Oh, Annie. I hope this decision comes without him agonizing over it. That has got to be rough because it is such a huge choice to make.

Marcie Hascall Clark said...

A well informed decision will also likely be the best one.
Please have your son visit my website to learn about the DBA insurance he would be covered under if he went to work as a contract employee in Iraq or Afghanistan.
This coverage is extremely inadequate and a serious injury could keep him in financial limbo for the rest of his life.
This happened to us nearly five years ago and although my husband has recovered to an extent he will never have the earning capacity he once did and it drained our savings just to get by.
My husband never would have agreed to accept these conditions. He was just not aware of them.
Best Wishes to your family
Marcie Clark www.dbacomp.com

MoscowMom said...

It doesn't seem to be any easier for you to be watching him make this decision... The Russians have a saying: "Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems." It actually isn't "problems;" it's more like "concerns." He's certainly grappling with a great one... I hope he finds peace in his decision.

Nataliya said...

It's so hard to make a right choice! Wouldn't it be nice if you could make this decision for him the way you did it when he was a little boy? But our kids are growing up, and they have to make their own decisions...